Forum für die Leser

Hi bogusmagus,

What about some very upthreshed speechwords?
I hit the following two in front:

1) What’s good for the Gabriel is good for the Gunter.
2) A bird in the hand is better than two to Toulouse.

Thanks? Not there for.

That takes the biscuit mate! My favourite:

He is tighter than a frog's ass and that's watertight!

Hi bogus,
what you actually had been looking for when you entered our forum was sort of a „the worst sayings of all times“-compilation. You know, „Whoops the woodferry“ and that kinda crap. Now, the thing is: We already established such a thread ages ago, and most newcomers initially try their fate right there. As you tried somewhere else, I’ll just give you a short survey of the most important ones, that will also help you to behave decently, whenever you happen to come to our country and encounter some natives.

When you’re at a party and someone with a cigarette in his hand approaches you, asking for a light („have you fire?“), don’t react like your typical fellow countryman, saying „that’s like going to the bar with an empty glass, asking ‚have you got ocean?‘). Instead say:
„Prick in your eye, that burns, too!“ and make for great laughter.
If the person is already smoking and asks for an ashtray, say
„Take the large one“
If the conversation you’re in, threatens to get stuck, try some reliable aphorisms like
„he who bites others in the cunt, is mostly blunt“ (alternatively: on the hunt),
or (very sophisticated)
„nair eht ni setatiseh reven ellezag htiw eorgen a“
An easy help is always to simply order some more drinks. Just hold three fingers up in the air and shout:
„five beers for the men from the chainsaw massacre!“

That should do for a start.
Stay with us and you’ll learn a lot more.

I may add some classics:

- "Howdy, the forest fairy!"
- "Better smoking pot than hayfever."
- "One more saying - broken jaw!"
- "One more deed - a ride on the wheelchair!"
- "Why doesn't Ahmed own a chessboard? - Because Arafat doesn't own a bike!"
- "Yank thou!" / "Wou are yelcome!"
- "for pencil" (instead of "for example")
- "Nasty, nasty," quoth the dowel, and disappeared in the wall.
- "D'you have a fag for me? Mine are still in the vending machine." - "Here you are. Two money 50, according to Adam Riese and Eve Dwarf."

- The leader was a poor pig. It did not have a driving licence.
- To die you must, anyway faster goes it with Marlboro.
- Who roasts others a bratwurst, has bratwurst roasting equipment

we make through till tomorrow early and sing bang-drop-era

on German ground may never again a joint go out

there fry me but yes somebody a stork (and the thighs beautiful crunchy).

parents stick for their children

there need one cooked not over talk

there could one straight mad become

picture to you your opinion

now goes she loose, with goose large steps, and X touches the Y from behind on the tits

the ducks are save

remains the question, how do cow-faeces come onto the roof

...says Kohl: "Ich bin spät drei"

This Strang ist really onewallfree!

hi bogus,
„Gold find’t man bekanntlich im Dreck“, wusste unser deutsches Proll-Roll-Modell M.M.-Westernhagen, und fügte kryptisch hinzu „und Straßen sind aus Dreck gebaut“ (!?).
Oder eben, wie sie Anglo-Amerikaner zu sagen pflegen:

Where there’s fuck, there’s bras
(lying on the floor)

stets der Ihre
Lenin

You can all slide my hump down.

Anonymous hat geschrieben:You can all slide my hump down.

Why not? We all have got nothing Toulouse, my dear friend and copperstinger.

Soon here is the sausage warm. I think my pig whistles!

Here, the dog in the pan goes insane, my dear pusher!

Holy hole in a Donut! Relationshipwise: My dear Mr. Singing-Club, the gang of bang-charges keeps on summoning that Bogus Maggus (Markus from Hessen?) Whatever, reading stuff like this REALLY helps after hours of CATharsis, doubt, grief and all other CATastrophic mofo's...

So, pull yourself at the strap and join the madness.

you are me some!

but good that all the sucked out translations like "heavy on wire" and so on are making themselves zip here. you do not have to spill the child with the bathtub out, i say always.

I say you what.
Every time when I read me this through it remembers me on Dieter Hallervorden and Helga Feddersen with their song "The Bathtub is full".
That comes me very spanish before.

But what interest me that. From me out you can make what you want.
But I let that now after.

And know you what, Danny: everytime I see new fancy new PeterGabrielAvatars I hear "Schock den Affen" or "Vorschlaghammer" from somewhere. Gabriel's Peter was perhaps sogar inspired by Didi for his german album:

Peter hat geschrieben:Wirfst deine perlen vor die sau
Treibst den affen in den bau
Fasse mich jetzt und hier
Offen - offen - uh - uh
Ja, due weisst: das schockt den affen

Viel zuviel in frage
Unsicher alle tage
Und jetzt auch noch dies:

Schock! - das tut dem affen weh
Schock! - das tut dem affen weh