KÜKEN sucht FRAU

[The Mars Volta]

Nichtmal ein "Tschüss!" oder Ähnliches.

Sie sind ganz schön unfreundlich, FSK!

[Freiburger Satire-Küken]

Nachtrag : Hallo erstmal - ciao, euer KÜKATOR

[Tuesday Lobsang Rampa]

You can bugger the bear, if you do it with care,
in the winter, when he is asleep in his lair,
Though I would not advise it in spring or in fall--
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

If you're feeling quite coarse, you can bugger the horse,
or the palfrey, the jennet, the stallion (with force),
You can bugger the donkey, the mare, or the mule,
Though to bugger the pony is needlessly cruel.

You can bugger the ox (if you stand on a box)
And vulpologists say you can bugger the fox,
You can bugger the shrew, though it's awfully small--
but the hedgehog cvan never be buggered at all.

Herptologists gasp you can bugger the asp,
Entymologists claim you can bugger the wasp.
If an insects your thing, man, then just have a ball--
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

And the elephant too, that you meet in the zoo,
Can be buggered if you are sure just what to do,
You will need a large mattress upon which to fall--
but the hedgehog cvan never be buggered at all.

You can bugger the bees if your down on your knees,
You can bugger the termites with terminal ease
you can bugger the beetle, the ladybug (bird!) too,
there's no end to the buggering that you can do.

You can bugger the cat if it isn't to fat
You can bugger the rabbit you draw from your hat
You can bugger the shark that you've chased in your yawl--
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

You can bugger the ermine, and all other vermine,
like rats, mice, and roaches, if your not discernin'.
You can bugger the dog, it will come when you call--
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

Although Mr. Tiggy is not very big, he
Avoids with great ease those who fancy his arse.
He just curls in a ball, shows his prickles and all--
And the would-be seducer leaves himin the grass

If you're that kind of fool, and you have a long tool,
Do it with a giraffe, if you stand on a stool,
Catch a yeti, who lives in the snows of Nepal--
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

For the hedgehog escapes the posterior rapes
Performed upon others of different shapes
Those who run, swim, or slither, they get it withal--
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

It is said, if you try, you can bugger the fly,
Or the swallow as it skims so skilfully by,
Use a noose or a net, or lime (if you've the gall)--
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all

You can bugger the cow (I will not tell you how),
Or the boar, or the piglet, the shoat or the sow,
You can bugger the ass as it stands in the stall--
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

You can order or shoo 'im, or run a knife through 'im
The one thing you cannot do is stick it to 'im.
If you try to seduce 'im, you'll end in a fix,
His prickles defend him against rampant pricks.

You can bugger the ram, you can bugger the lamb,
You can bugger the ewe, though the wether's a sham,
You can bugger the tiger (it may caterwaul)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

You can bugger the seal, you can bugger the eel,
You can bugger the crab, though they say it can't feel,
You can bugger the bat as the night casts its pall,
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

You can bugger the snake (hold it down with a rake),
Though to bugger the quetzal may be a mistake.
You can bugger the billy, the nanny the kid,
But to bugger the hedeghog just cannot be did.

You can bugger the slug, though it messes the rug,
You can bugger the different species of bug,
Or do it with a snail, if you slow to a crawl,
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

At the end of the day, when you've had your rough way
With all of those creatures, you'll just have to say
"That damned Erinaceous has been my downfall--"
For the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

You can bugger a pig if you cling to its ear.
You can bugger a sheep if you wear the right gear.
But there’s one beast you cannot approach from the rear.

You can bugger a goose if you slap on some grease.
You can bugger a fox if you don’t mind the fleas,
Or a dormouse if you get right down on your knees.

You can bugger an owl in the dead of the night,
Or a badger if you get the timing just right.
Take a bull by the horns, it’s the farmer’s delight.

You can bugger a Hare if you run very fast,
Or a sloth if you’re knackered and want it to last,
Or a whale if you find your ambition is vast.

You can bugger a porpoise if you find a school,
Or a penguin or two if you jump in their pool.

You can bugger a camel with one hump or two.
You can bugger a llama, and lots of blokes do.

You can bugger a rhino on Africa’s plain,
Or an elephant if you have use of a crane.
You can bugger a bison without any pain.

You can bugger a bear if you catch it asleep,
Or a wild mountain goat if the mountain’s not steep
And your aim is quite good, and you’re prepared to leap.

You can bugger a bat if you cling to the wall.
You can bugger a snail if you slow to a crawl.
But there’s one beast that cannot be buggered at all.

Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do
But I have to say this as a warning to you:
With almost all animals, you can have ball
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
They’ll give you a pain in the worst place they can
The result I think you’ll find will appall:
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

Mounting a horse can often be fun
An elephant too; though he weighs half a ton
Even a mouse (though his hole is quite small)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

For prosimian fun, you can bugger a lemur
To bolster your name as a pervert and schemer
The lemurs cry “Frink!” as a coy mating call
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

[Freiburger Satire-Küken]

Oh what strange rhymes ! Very strange !
Sind die Hühner platt wie Teller, war der Traktor sicher schneller......
Trägt die Magd die Eier fort, schrein die Hühner "Kindermord"............
Es sing und quakt der Kükenmann, ............. ?
ciao, euer Kükator

[Freiburger Satire-Küken]

Korrektur : Es singt und quakt der Kükenmann........... ?
oder : Es swingt und quakt der Kükenmann.............? ciao, your Kükator

[Freiburger Satire-Küken]

Hallo erstmal ! Der Kükator fährt Anfang nächter Woche für über 2 Wochen nach LÜNEBURG in seine Heimatstadt ! Dann wird hier für über 2 Wochen kein Gequake meinerseits optisch und auch akustisch hier vernehmbar sein ! Also - vorher noch kräftig abquaken ! Und das mache ich jetzt ............ ciao, euer KÜKATOR

[palazzo]

oje, herr kükator,
dann ist es jetzt für mich an der zeit, ihnen alles gute und frohe feiertage im heimatlichen nest zu wünschen, nachdem ich diesen strang bisher still, aber aufmerksam verfolgt habe.

gehen sie nicht verloren, lassen sie sich keinesfalls mit enten oder gänsen verwechseln, das kann um diese jahreszeit sehr, sehr gefährlich sein.

mit besten wünschen,
palazzo.

[Freiburger Satire-Küken]

Hallo erstmal ! Der KÜKATOR wünscht euch......... später mehr......ciao, euer Kükator

[The Mars Volta]

Was denn!?!?

[Freiburger Satire-Küken]

Hallo erstmal ! Der Kükator wünscht euch ein frohes und besinnliches.........Fortsetzung folgt...........ciao, euer Kükator

[Freiburger Satire-Küken]

Hallo erstmal ! Der KÜKATOR wünscht euch ein frohes und besinnliches Weihnachtsfest und einen guten..........Fortsetzung folgt, ciao, your Kükator http://www.pulcino-tom.de
übrigens auch Grüße an das Redaktionsteam (ReDUCKtionsteam) der SuperLupo !

[Gast]

jetzt reichts aber. benutzen sie gefälligst die edit-funktion!

[Freiburger Satire-Küken]

.......Hallo erstmal ! Der Kükator wünscht euch allen hier ein frohes Weihnachtsfest und einen guten Rutsch ins neue Jahr !

[Tuesday Lobsang Rampa]

Na also, geht doch. Und jetzt fahren Sie endlich in Urlaub. Wir werden uns in der Zwischenzeit um Ihren Strang "kümmern". Versprochen.

[Freiburger Satire-Küken]

Der KÜKATOR sagt euch noch einmal von Herzem : "Danke" !