Seite 222 von 224

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: Mi Mär 19, 2014 10:43 am
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!

Bin noch hier! Übermorgen werde ich ein Jahr älter - the same procedure as last year!

Merkel:"The same procedure as EVERY year!"

ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: Mo Apr 07, 2014 9:18 am
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!

Hier kommt nochmal eine Zusammenfassung meiner englisch-sprachigen Verkasematuckelungen (verschiedener Themen):

Merkel:" Es ist aus! Es is aus! Was ist aus? Wetten dass hat fertig!"

Obama:"Doesn`t any matter!"

Ein Interview (Entwurf):

Pulcinator di Campi-Bisenzio (Ente):"How are you?"

Tom Henry:"All in all - okay."

Pulcinator:"Remember 30 years ago!"

Tom:"Valentines-Day 1984! I had my Italian girlfriend. We wrote many letters to each other and we telephoned every evening. Me and some friends in Lüneburg produced a short and romantic Super8-Video and send it to Campi-Bisenzio (near Florence where she lived)."

P.:"Was a very big love story, wasn`t it?"

T.:"Yes, it was! She was the most friendly and beautiful young woman in Italy! Because of her I moved to Italy and we wanted to get married!"

P.:"I tell you the reason for the collapse of this love-relationship: I think that the thrilling beautiness and intelligence of her made you insecure - perhaps you also couldn`t even cope with your own past. (early childhood). So the relationship between your girlfriend and you was more and more in danger to collaps. You behaved more terrible than Mr. Bean in his worst moments! The patience of her and her parents diminished gradually."

T.:"Absolutely true! I was a stumbling-block for her success in the future. With me at her side her she would never reach her emancipation at that time. Also my health was rather bad and nobody knew what it was. Between the separation in 1985 and 1990 I missed many chances of a revival of this friendship."

P.:"Okay, that was in the past. With "Princess Estefania" you set a literaric monument to your former Italian flame. Tell me more!"

T.:"That`s right! I my story Prof. Eulogius Bombastus Tydeltack (myself) meets Princess Estefania (my ex-girlfriend) after more than 30 years again!"

P.:"And is this the happy-end?"

T.:"No! The Princess sets conditions! Tydeltack gets many difficult tasks. If he absolves them with success, Estefania will decide about a second chance!"

P.:"What for conditions? For example?"

T.:"Prof. Tydeltack must win the Eurovision Song-Contest, he must prepare a good theatre-play, a musical and a movie about the Princess getting one Oscar! He must support the projects of the Princess to make the world better and has to do cope with many other challenges!"

ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: Mo Apr 07, 2014 9:31 am
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!

Fortsetzung - Best of:

Professor Tydeltack: "In our brains more memories are recorded than we think! Informations and experiences from our ancestors are recorded on the harddrive (100000 Billion times 100000 Billion Terabyte) in our head! Normally we don't remember the experiences and adventures of our ancestors up to thousands of years ago. I made an invention to make all these informations visible! Later more to this."

Merkel:"What`s going on?"
Ökemöke:"Princess Estefania, we know you beeing the most friendly feminist of all times - and also as the most effective one! Why do you fight for worldwide woman's rights?"

Princess Estefania:""Most women of this world were opressed for many 1000 years - they suffered from forced marriages and forced pregnancies. Forced sex and forced pregnancy is one of the most horrible perversion of the good things which God has created! And forced pregnancy often leads to indirect hate of a mother against her children! This hate creates a wave of suspicion from one generation to another - who destroyes this terror-circle? Scientists found out that all the torture, injustice, opression and violence against the women have fixed a traumatic damage into the genetic heritage of all generations of all people until today. Let`s finish this!"

Merkel:"Allright! Good idea!"

On April, 25, 1984 the DUCK Pulcinator was born on the Royal Farm of Duchessa Estefania di Campi Bisenzio in a place near Florence, the capital of Toscana. Pulcinator was educated by Estefania. In 1985 Pulcinator was taken to Germany by me - some days later he was lost in a Blizzard near Munich - in 2000 I found him on a chicken-market near Freiburg! Here you will see soon the long interview with the famous DUCK Pulcinator di Campi-Bisenzio:
Lee Shockmoppel:"Welcome to the show, Pulcinator di Campi-Bisenzio! Tell us about your adventures!"

Pulcinator:"I'm thankful about my life. It's incredible what I could see and experience and it`s nice that I could help many people!"

Lee:"Can you tell us about your early life? Your name says that you`re born in Italy!"

Pulcinator:"Right! I remember well the day of my birth. We are DUCKs and we have the advantage to remember our life from the begin on - even I have memories about my time as an embryo in the egg! I was born on April, 25th in 1984 near the Bisenzio-River in Campi-Bisenzio near the famous town Florence. Beeing tired to remain in the egg I destroyed the shell and I crawled out. Aboce me there was no mother-duck but I looked in the beautiful face of young woman - the Duchess Estefania di Campi-Bisenzio. I said "Hello" and she said:"I want to be your mother!" I agreed and shouted:"That's great!"

Lee:"This is the begin of a marvellous story! Tell us more!" Pulcinator:"Estefania picked me up and put me into her parent`s house - into the kitchen. They had a little swimming-pool there where I could swim or fool around with severel rubbaducks. Also the food was good - every day Spaghetti and red wine! I got cuddling-therapy from Estefania!"

Lee:"Your Duchess-mother had a crazy friend from Germany, right?"

Pulcinator:"That`s true - after one month he appeared in the house of Estefania and her family. She was in love with this funny young freak - his name was Eulogius Tüdeltack. All in all he was also friendly with me but I think he behaved like a little child sometimes!"

Lee:"This matter was not good for the love-relationship between Estefania and Eulogius, wasn`t it?"

Pulcinator:"Oh - it became a big problem. I think that the thrilling beautiness and intelligence of Estefania made her friend insecure - perhaps he couldn`t even cope with his own past. (early childhood). So the relationship between them was more and more in danger to collaps. Eulogius was more terrible than Mr. Bean in his worst moments! The patience of Estefania and her parents diminished gradually." Lee:"What happened then?" Pulcinator:"The family and Eulogius agreed on a return of him back to Germany for some month. So it happened. 3 month later he came back to Estefania and her family. He was strange like before. After 2 weeks Eulogius had to say "Goodbye". His girlfriend decided to present him her DUCK Pulcinator - me! I was astonished and I agreed - with the option to come back to Estefania very soon. For me all this was a challenge. I wanted to see the rest of the world and to learn many things - and I had a symphathy for the crazy German Eulogius Tüdeltack.
We went by train from Florence to Munich in January 1985. It was very cold and we saw much snow. We lived in the house of some friends of Eulogius. They wondered about me - the SPEAKING Duck - but they were friendly to me. One day we were walking through the high mountains. Suddenly a blizzard came and we couldn't even see the hands before our eyes. As a house-duck I can't fly and I slipped over a cliff and fell down 200 Meters. Eulogius didn't find me in spite of a long search. Sadly he went home."

Lee:"How sad? Poor little Duck- what happened to you?"

Pulcinator:"I wasn`t injured. I stumbled through the snow to the next village. A farmer invited me to have a lunch together with his own ducks and hens. They fooled around on a frozen rubbish-tense beside a lake. Only one hen could speak - he warned me to stay not too long here because they expected the butcher. One day later I left the farm. I`m a good swimmer and so I looked for a not frozen river. I walked 3 days and nights without food and then I reached a big lake called "Bodensee" (Lake of Constance). There was only few ice and so I could swim and eat some stuff below the water-surface sometimes. I swam and I slept and I slept and swam and so on. I passed the island of Mainau, got into the Rhine-river, passed Basel, Strassbourg, Mannheim, Mainz - the beautiful country of the Middle-Rhine with all these old castles. In Cologne I wanted to have a sight-seeing and I found myself among millions of crazy people celebrating the Carnival. Many people disguised as animals, even as ducks and hens. I was invited to the Harald-Schmidt-Show who presented me as a speaking duck - a strange experience. 3 days later I continued my journey on the Rhine. I passed Dusseldorf, Emmerich and Rotterdam. Suddenly the river ended in the Northern Sea. What could I do? How long was the trip to England?"

Lee:"Did you travel anymore?"

Pulcinator:"I swam with all my courage - in April I reached the Thames-River. 2 days later I entered the City of London. I left the water and explored the city. Near Carnaby-Street I had a discussion with many curious people. 2 children with their parents wanted to know many things about me. They invited me to come with them home by car. It was a nice trip through a nice country. Soon we reached a beautiful town - Oxford!"
Lee:"There is a famous University!" Pulcinator:"The father of the children told me, that he worked as a professer there. We reached a beautiful house with a nice a garden and a lake. I asked how long I could stay in this family and Mrs. and Mr. Twist - so the name of the family was - answered:"You can stay as long as you want!" Because I wanted to learn very much I decided to have a nice time here. Prof. Charly Twist and his wife Emma were good people - also their children Katie and Bill, 8 and 9 years old."

Lee:"It was a new period in your life, wasn`t it?"

Pulcinator:"Can you imagine - from 1985 until the year 2000 I lived in this Family! In the summer of my first year in Oxford Prof. Twist showed me the University - a couple of mostly historical buildings. I was invited to listen to the first lecture soon..

ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: Mo Apr 07, 2014 9:47 am
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!


About the book: We Germans have too less tenderness!
For many years Tom Pulcinator Henry was thinking about the way of living socially together and so he tells us in his book about his thrilling experience with the Schmusetherapy (Hug, tenderness). He tells us how he became an autist at age 2 after an accident and how he suffered so for some years in his family. At age 5 a supernanny visited his parents in 1962 and took this poor child for some weekends into her own family one year later giving him a lot of "Schmusetherapy".
In 1965 he moved into her family after death of his own mother. With lot of Schmusetherapy and good education the child developed from a sick little worm to a happy big child. At age of 23 he worked as Schmusetherapist in a hotel on island of Langeoog. In his book he described the effects of this important Therapy. Even others tell about their experiences. This Therapy is important for soul and body, destroys fear, creates love and confidence and helps against depressions!
Everybody is a baby!

This is the story of Princess Estefania.
The world is in trouble,
slave trade all over the earth,
opression and dictatorship,
violence against women and children.
senseless wars.
Everything hopeless?

No! Here comes the Princess!
Step by step she struggles
for women`s and children`s rights,

Her time has come,
to fight against
slavery and injustice,
to finish forced marriages.

The Princess is
courageous, friendly, lovely,
beautiful, charming and intelligent,
she`s the crown of creation,
she tells about the
greatest revolution of all times,
the Gospel.
With help of God she says:
Everything is possible!

Here I start the Filmstory (no perfect version) in ENGLISH language:

Princess Estefania:

First scene in a restaurant in Freiburg:

Mr. Percycal, Johnny Birbone and his wife Euphoria, Dagobert and Dr. Filzlauskas are sitting around a table. The bad boss Percyval begins to speak:"You know why we are here?"

Dagobert:"The reason is our bad image! The people don`t like us! For them we are like a bunch of stiffs! They think we are a cruel money-making organisation."

Percyval:"That's right! We have to do something for our reputation! So we need a lovely and beautiful woman, who will represent us! We need a charming princess - or better to say: we will make her to a princess! She must be a woman of our dreams - she also should be motherly - a type like Jennifer Lopez. She must say what we want to hear."

Euphoria:"Nice idea, boss!"

Dagobert:"I don`t know any woman here in Freiburg who is good for this job."

Dr. Filzlauskas:"Dagobert, you're always sitting in your bureau counting your money! How can you know any woman?"

Euphoria:"Oh! I remember a very beautiful woman in her mid-forties!"

Johnny Birbone:"You think about this new leader of the orpenage? I read about her in the newspaper."

Euphoria:"Exactly! Her name is Duchess Estefania of Campi-Bisenzio! I met her on a conference in the major's house. She told us about her new concept. She's really good, she's cordial, happy, nice to children, intelligent and clever - and she looks very very beautiful!"

Percyval:"Okay, please visit her and try to convince her!"

Euphoria:"It's not easy but I will do my best!"

Percyval:"Don't be afraid! You will have success doing this!"

Euphoria:"Shall I go at once? Later I could loose my courage!"

Percyval:"Come on! There`s the door! Good luck!"

Euphoria:"Ciao! Vado via!" (she leaves the room)

Percyval:"I hope she copes with this situation! One thing, Johnny - can you do something for me?"

J. Birbone:"What's the matter?"

Percyval:"This evening there`s a lecture in Prof. Tüdeltack`s ridiculous university. Possibly Tüdeltack tries another conspiracy against us! Can we send a spy to this place? I want to know what they will talk about tonight!"

J. Birbone:"I would like to go there - they don`t know me and so they can't be suspicious! When does the lecture start?"

Percyval:"Tonight at eight!"

J. Birbone:"I wait for my wife with good news about Estefania! Then we go together to this crazy university! Avanti!"

Second scene in an Orphanage in Freiburg:

Estefania, Ökemöke and Verona are sitting in a room together with some children, who play and sing songs. Estefania plays guitar, Ökemöke plays Bongos and Verona shakes the tambourine.

Estefania (raises her voice):"I like my profession here very much! For only some weeks I lead this house here - but the children have big confidence to me!"

Ökemöke:"It's a pity that this house suffers from high financial debts - remaining from the former director Dave Rappelschnut."

Verona:"He is my grandfather! But it`s the realitiy - let`s make it better! How can we raise more money for this important place for the children?"

Ökemöke:"Estefania, you must become famous! Like the Queen - or like a star of the Eurovision-Song-Contest!"

Verona:"Famous as Mrs. Eurobondiangela Merkel or Mr. Obama! Or like the Captain of Köpenich - you know this famous story!"

Estefania:"That's rubbish! Make serious proposals!"

Verona:"You can go to Heidi Klum`s Schockmoppel-Show! What do you think about Bohlen's Supertalent-Competition?"

Estefania:"Oh no, shut up!"

(Suddenly the bell rings! Ökemöke opens the door and into the room comes Euphoria.)

Ökemöke:"How nice! We didn't see you for weeks! How are you?"

Estefania:"What's going on? Tell me the reason for your coming!"

Euphoria:"Percyval sent me to you, beautiful Estefania! We have a nice offer for you!"

Estefania:"I don't expect nice ideas from this man! He only likes his money!"

Euphoria:"No! He has changed to a charming person and he wants to help all people! We have a wonderful job for you!"

Estefania:"But I like my work here - with all these children in need!"

Euphoria:"But your financial situation here is very bad! You should be pleased with our support! If you agree, you will become very rich and also very famous! So you can help this children for many years!"

Estefania:"What kind of job?"

Euphoria:"A very nice representing profession! Percyval and his clan have a problem: People don`t like them and so they need a nice and lovely representing woman! She should explain our aims in a friendly way. She also could become the leader of a big social foundation. She will become a Princess!"

Estefania:"I knew it! A Princess-Muppet-Show-Puppet! A nice and harmless thing! Go somewhere else and seek for another Princess!"

Euphoria:"You are strong and intelligent! I've seen you on TV knocking out this impudent moderator from Pro7. That was great! And listen: was it not Percyval, who gave you this job in the orphanage?"

Estefania:"Okay! That doesn't mean that I like him - even this was a good proposal by him."

Euphoria:"We begin to understand each other!"

Estefania:"But why me? As a Princess? Give me time to consider about this!"

Princess Estefania tells you something important!
Some words she speaks out in the movie "Princess Estefania"!
Estefania:"Who is God? God is near me! You came from Him, He sent you into this world!
He has created you, He is your mother and your father!
He is watching over you all the time. His arms are open for you, like the open arms of a mother hugging her child or putting her child on his feet so that this child can learn how to walk! He has sent you into the world so that you can live your life! He has given you special abilities and given you special conditions of life - He has given you your family, your friends and your jobs. He has given you all you need so that you can have an abundant life. He has confidence in you and He loves you!
With friendliness he walks by your side since the very beginning! You`ll never be alone!
Nothing can touch you in a negative way! He is your shelter. Be calm and relax in His security! Trust Him, lean on Him and be confident in His presence.
God goes before you! You don`t go into an unknown land, Jesus, the son of God, goes before you. Don`t be afraid: here before you He stands, He came into this world before you and He has experienced everything what you will experience in the future!
Every human situation is full of His presence! Also at the end of your life He is waiting for you! You`ll never walk alone! He is with you!
He opens his arms to receive you!
Like a mother, when her child runs towards her to be put up into her arms. He encourages you. He speaks to you and gives you the power of the Holy Spirit! He has taken your sins on Himself! He waits for you that you come to quite down in His presence when a burden is on yourself!
He gives you things to do but he gives you special abilities so that you can perform these tasks. He is before you! Be calm in His security!
God is in you!
The Holy Spirit lives in you like in a temple. He knows every part of your body and your soul!
He knows you better than you know yourself!
He encourages you and overpowers in you every evil power! He is stronger than the devil and his cruelty!
Don`t be afraid of any sin or sickness! He is your freedom! Nothing happens without His knowledge. He can solve every problem!
You`ll never walk alone! He is always there. Should you feel lonely or depressed or sick, remember, God is always by your side. he never leaves you!
He is there! Be quiet in His presence and rest in His safety!

(Princess-Estefania/Parts of the interview) Ökemöke:"2000 years ago the world experienced the greatest revolution of all times - the Gospel! Consequently the slavery was reduced and women and men got the same rights! More than 200 years later this revolution was betrayed by theological people - they mixed up the Gospel with strange and hostile philosophies against the women. Additional to this they damaged the context of the Bible! How they did? For example they accused Eve because she was the first person who took the fruit from the forbidden tree - but they forgot that Adam was beside her thinking and doing the same mistake! So they accused all women of the world as enemies. As consequence the women were opressed and lost their rights in the church. This hypocrisy swept all over the Christian world. Many people began to hate the natural relationship between men and women. So the church became weak and susceptible to the attacks by enemies and the decadence in their own rows.
Today the situation is much better - but we must fight also now for equal rights! Princess Estefania will go towards this aim - with the help of God! Let's go with her! Let us fulfill the Gospel-revolution!"

ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: Di Jun 03, 2014 9:24 am
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!

Willkommen im Sommer 1914!

Ökemöke:"Nein! 2014!"

Okay - Ökemöke will euch einen Witz erzählen!

Ökemöke:"Gehen ein Huhn und ein Schwein an einem Restaurant vorbei und staunen über die Speisekarte, auf der zu lesen ist:
"Spiegeleier mit Schinken". Darauf sagt das Schwein zum Huhn: Für Dich ist es nur eine Kollekte, für mich ein OPFER!"

Wir feiern den D-Day! 70 Jahre D-Day! Was sagt meine Protagonistin Erna Topolinova dazu? Erna? Watt, wer bist du denn?
Erna ist die Gegenspielerin der Prinzessin Estefania. Sie hat (wie auch Estefania) der Sklaverei weltweit den Kampf angesagt - im Gegensatz zu Estefania plädiert sie für militärische Härte. In einer Talkshow tritt sie zusammen mit der lustigen Edda Rappelschnut und einer etwas seltsamen Verona auf. Alle 3 sehen in ihren schrillen Ritterrüstungen furchterregend aus; sind auch noch mit Laserwaffen ausgerüstet. Direkt harmlos dagegen erscheinen die Kostüme der finnischen Hard-Rock-Band LORDI. Die 3 mutigen Frauen haben fast ausschliesslich über die sozialen Netzwerke im Internet eine riesige Fangemeinde geschaffen. Ein Millionenheer ihrer Anhängerschaft gibt es inzwischen weltweit; und das sind nicht nur Frauen. Auch sie zeigen sich gern in martialischen Rüstungen und Kostümen - treffen sich oft in Fussballstadien. Der Moderator Johnny Shockmoppel beginnt das Interview:

Shockmoppel:"Heute feiern wir alle den D-Day! Der 6.6.1944 war der Anfang vom Ende des bösen Diktators. Die Allierten marschierten innerhalb von weniger als 3 Monaten nach Paris und ca. 8 Monate später war Schland vom Wahnsinn befreit. Gibt es eine Parallele zwischen der Invasion damals und Ihrer Arbeit, Frau Topolinova?"

Erna:"Na logo,Alter! Aber wir kämpfen ohne Waffen - wir machen das so wie Bud Spencer damals! Es gibt ab und zu Kloppe!"

Shockmoppel:"Gegen wen? Ohne Waffen? Aber mit Robotern und Drohnen?"

Erna:"Na logo - mit Kampf-Robotern und Drohnen und Fluggeräten! Also die Typen kriegen war auf die Fresse, die uns daran hindern wollen, Menschen aus der Sklaverei zu befreien!"

Merkel:"Also, dazu möchte ich auch mal was sagen!"

später gehts weiter....................

ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: Di Jun 10, 2014 9:59 am
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!

Donald Duck wird 80 Jahre alt! Happy Birthday!
Gruss von meiner Ente Pulcinator:

ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: Mo Jun 23, 2014 9:27 am
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!

Ökemöke:"Friede, Freude, Eierkuchen!"

ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: Do Jul 10, 2014 9:40 am
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!

Erna:"Nieder mit der Pflege-Diktatur!"

Merkel:"Wie meinen Sie das?"

ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: Do Jul 17, 2014 9:37 am
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!

ÖKemöke:"Happy Birthday Üngülü Mürkül!"


Froggy Shockmoppel:"Schlaaaand! Tolles Foto von Dir mit Schweini und Poldi und Co."

Merkel:"Wir sind Waldmeeeeeiiiiister!"

ÖKemöke:"Der Gaucho-Tanz war echt lustig, was?"

Merkel:"Äh! joa - äh - nun ja.........."

ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: So Jul 20, 2014 3:51 pm
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!

(Der dritte Weltkrieg ist ausgebrochen)

Froggy:"Ganz schön unruhig ist die Welt zur Zeit!"

Merkel:"Überall Bürgerkriege, Kriege und Konflikte und Raketenterror!"

Ökemöke:"Es wird immer schlimmer!"

Merkel:"Nun ja - vor 100 Jahren begann der erste Weltkrieg, vor 75 Jahren der erste, aber zum Glück leben wir hierzulande noch im Frieden! Der Osten ist erblüht! Alles wird gut!"

Ökemöke:"Also das ist schon richtig: vor 100 Jahren begann der erste, vor 75 Jahren der zweite und 2014 begann der dritte Weltkrieg!"

Merkel:"Was???? Sie machen mir echt Angst!"

Froggy:"Genau - der dritte Weltkrieg ist schon da - die meisten haben es noch nicht geschnallt!"

Erna:"Es ist ein asymetrischer Krieg - in einer Form, wie wir ihn noch nie vorher hatten."

ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: Fr Jul 25, 2014 9:44 am
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!

Aus aktuellem Anlass hier ein neues Interview:
Es diskutieren Erna Topolinova (Frauenrechtlerin), Ökemöke (ihre Anhängerin), Angie (Kanzlerin), Uschi (Verteidigungsministerin), Estefania (Prinzessin), Prof. Tyddeltack u.a.:

Erna:"Im Umfeld aller zur Zeit bestehenden Kriege und Konflikte stelle ich fest, dass sich die Lage der Frauen weltweit immer weiter verschlechtert. Es scheint so, als ob alle Kriege auch Kriege gegen uns Frauen sind."

Estefania:"Das stimmt! Und das können wir uns nicht länger gefallen lassen!"

Merkel:"Richtig! Aber wie bekämpfen wir dieses Unrecht?"

Erna:"Das geht meiner Meinung nach nur militärisch!"

Estefania:"Ich ziehe eine pazifistischen Widerstand vor. Eventuell ist auch sanfte Gewalt gut, um Millionen Frauen aus der Hand der Extremisten zu befreien! Und die Frauen-KZs müssen endlich aufgelöst werden!"

Merkel:"Es ist mir nicht bekannt, dass es irgendwo auf der Welt Frauen-KZs gibt."

Erna:"Nun ja - dann haben Ihre Geheimdienste wohl gepennt!"

Ökemöke:"Die sind per Satelliten-Spionage schwer zu entdecken, weil sie meistens ziemlich klein sind - was den Horror aber nicht minimiert! Es gibt zigtausende solcher Lager - vor allem in Asien, Afrika und Osteuropa; fast immer in Kriegsgebieten!"

Uschi:"Dann müssen wir sie auflösen! Aber wie?"

Erna:"Mit Kampfdrohnen und Riesenrobotern! Auch interessant wären noch Kleinroboter in Miniflugzeugen unserer privaten Luftwaffe usw."

Estefania:"Ich habe da eine andere Idee. Zwar friedlicher als mit Bomben, aber nicht weniger effektiv."

Merkel:"Das interessiert mich - später mehr dazu!"

Erna:"Also - lasst uns anfangen! Hiermit gründen wir den deutschen Ableger der indischen GULABI-GANG! Eine Kampfgruppe zur Befreiung aller Frauen!"

Ökemöke:"Ich mache mit!"

Erna:"Jetzt sind wir schon zu zweit! Wer macht noch mit?"

Estefania:"Ich bin auch dabei! Übrigens - ihr wollt doch wissen, wie wir das ohne Waffen hinkriegen? Beispiel: Wir produzieren 1 Million Modellflugzeuge, setzen in jedes Objekt jeweils ein kleines Tier ans Cockpit und dann greifen wir ein! Natürlich ist jedes Flugzeug unbewaffnet! Dazu schicken wir ca. 10 Millionen solargesteuerte Minidrohnen los!"

Uschi:"Sehr merkwürdiger Vorschlag! Und wer bildet die Tiere zu Piloten aus?"

Merkel:"Das klingt ja voll abgefahren! Estefania, Du bist schon eine coole Socke!"

Tyddeltack:"Tolle Idee!"

Uschi:"Was machen die Luftobjekte nun konkret?"

Ökemöke:"Sie sausen, brummen und summen solange um die Köpfe der Sklavenhändler und Extremisten herum, bis diese völlig die Nerven verlieren und kampfunfähig sind!"

Erna:"Und dann kommen wir und schlagen zu!"

Merkel:"Das ist total cool!"


Estefania:"Wie war das mit dem "zuschlagen" gemeint, Erna?"

Erna:"Nun ja - wir schicken die Riesenroboter ins Kampfgebiet!"

Estefania:"Und was sollen die machen?"

Erna:"Den Extremisten Angst einjagen!"

Merkel:"Mehr nicht?"

ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: Sa Aug 30, 2014 9:39 am
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!

Aus aktuellem Anlass! Die Diskussion geht weiter! Mein inzwischen 10 Jahre alt gewordenes Tierparlament wird REAKTIVIERT!
Siehe meinen Beitrag eine Etage über diesem Text!

ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: So Sep 07, 2014 2:28 pm
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!


Wasser-Hospiz und Schiff-Hospiz:

Professor Tyddeltacks neue Erfindungen: Das Wasser-Hospiz! Was ist das denn?
Ein Ort für Schwerkranke wie z.B. mit nicht mehr heilbaren Krankheiten an der Wirbelsäule. So ähnlich wie die Badespass-Paradiese, von denen es immer mehr gibt. Hier spielt sich das ganze Leben, auch die Pflege, im Wasser ab. Die Patienten schwimmen morgens zum Frühstück zur Pool-Bar. Lesen kann jeder z.B. auf einer Luftmatraze liegend. Es wird praktisch alles vom Wasser aus gemacht.

Und wenn die Leute kein Geld haben - oder es keine freien Plätze im Wasser-Hospiz gibt?
Dafür richten wir ein solches Hospiz irgendwo am Meer ein! Im Freien? Ja - überwiegend; es sollte aber wenigstens ein paar Holzhütten geben - auch einen Windschutz und Strandkörbe. Aber das Wasser ist doch manchmal zu kalt, oder?
Nun ja - dem können wir abhelfen: Neopren-Anzüge sind da sinnvoll; oder auch Pillen gegen die Kälte - das geht aber nur, wenn die Patienten nur noch wenige Wochen Lebenserwartung haben.

Warum das alles? Wenn chronische Schmerzen oder Depressionen das Leben bestimmen, so ist es sinnvoll, sich die "Birne" freizumachen, also es mediakamentös und durch andere Terapien den Patienten zu ermöglichen, nur noch an gute und spannende Dinge zu denken. Das Leben ist zu kurz, um es sich mit den ständigen Gedanken an die Schmerzen zu versauen!

Nach ähnlichem Muster läuft alles auch beim HOSPIZ-SCHIFF ab: Schmerzpatienten wohnen und reisen auf dem Schiff, anstatt in irgendwelchen Kliniken oder Heimen dahinzuvegetieren. Dort herrscht oft eine Atmosphäre der Bürokratie und der gegenseitigen Denunzierung. Das wirkt sich schlecht auf die Schmerztherapie aus, weil jeder fast Doc Angst hat, im Falle eines Todesfalles nach Verabreichung von Schmerzmitteln angeklagt oder gemobbt zu werden! Auf dem Schiff sind daher nur Krankenschwestern- und -Pfleger sowie pensionierte Ärzte für die Betreuung der Patienten zuständig. Sie brauchen kein Berufsverbot mehr zu befürchten! Sowohl auf dem Schiff als auch Wasserhospiz wird gerne viel gefeiert und musiziert. Patienten können in Rockbands mit spielen und sich einem Gospelchor anschliessen. Auch seelsorgerlich sind die Menschen dort gut versorgt.

"Prof". Tyddeltack`s new inventions: The international Water-Hospice and Ship-Hospice Project!
What`s that?
It is for people who suffer from hard and not healable and severe diseases, also for people who have problems to move on land because of demaged bones and spines - and also for people with terrible and chronically pain. In the Water-Hospice all life takes place in and on the water - including taking food and sleeping or getting therapeutically and medical care! The people swim to the meals or to the parties!
What are the problems in Germany? In the hospitals and old-peoples-homes very often we see an atmosphere of denunciation and bureaucracy among doctors, nurses, patients and their relations. For example: if a patient dies because of an overdosis of pain-killers, the relations accuse the doctor or the nurses. Specially the doctor is afraid to loose his job! What can we do? In the Water-Hospice or on the Ship-Hospice are only retired doctors beside the nurses, who take care for the patients.
In these new Hospices people can experience a cordial atmosphere with lot of humour. We also could hire clinic-clowns and comediens for the entertaintment of the patients. Music-Therapy is another very important matter on the Ship-Hospice and in the Water-Hospice - including music-festivals. Every patient is allowed to play in bands or to sing in the Gospel-choirs or can enjoy many parties.

später mehr dazu; ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: Di Sep 23, 2014 9:34 am
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!

Jeder lebt auf seine Art, sei es mit sei's ohne Quark
Und will auf seine Weise lustig sein,
Jeder hat das Recht dazu, holdri-ho und holla-die,
ihr alle sollt euch wegen Merkel freun
Was andre quarken darf auch ich, drum alarmier ich mich

Wenn ich ein Huhn bin, dann muß ich singen,
Wo ich auch bin, soll mein Quarken erklingen,
Ene mene ming mang ping pang ene mene acka dacka eia weia weg
Wolln's auch die andren Leute nicht hören,
Ich quarke weiter und laß mich nicht stören,
Ene mene ming mang ping pang ene mene acka dacka eia weia weg,
Ja! Singt auch jeder Merkel Melody,
Mir soll's recht sein, ich quark von spät bis früh,
Wenn ich vergnügt bin, dann muß ich singen,
Auch wenn die andren Leute zerspringen,
Ene mene ming mang ping pang ene mene acka dacka eia weia weg,

Als ich heute pudelnaß in der Badewanne saß,
Ich mir zum Zeitvertreib ein Liedchen sang,
Unter'm Dach, im Bundestag,
Dies die Merkel sehr verdross,
Weil dieses Lied sehr laut und scheußlich klang,
Den Fröschen traf vor Wut der Quark, das war ein Freudentag.

Ene mene ming mang ping pang ene mene acka dacka eia weia weg (Ein genialerRefrain! Ursprünglich ein Teil des Kastratensongs aus dem Jahre 1722)

wird noch gründlich überarbeitet;

ciao, euer Kükator

Re: KÜKEN sucht FRAU

Verfasst: Mo Okt 06, 2014 9:41 am
von Freiburger Satire-Küken
Hallo erstmal!

Merkel:"Ene mene ming-mang, ping-pang acka dacka eia weia weg!"

Ökemöke:"Ene mene ming-mang, ping-pang acka dacka eia MERKEL weg!"

Merkel:"Das ist gemein!"

Erna T.:"Das Federvieh ist gelb, macht quak-quak und legt Eier!"

Ökemöke:"Wen meinst du?"

Erna:"Den Pulcinator!"

Merkel:"Das stimmt nicht! Der Pulcinator ist der Freund aller Tiere und Leute, die sich für Menschenrechte einsetzen!"

Prinzessin Estefania:"So ist es!"

Merkel:"Habe gehört, dass Ingo Appelt der neue Bürgermeister von Berlin wird!"

Rasmussen:"Peace and Love for the world!"

ciao, euer Kükator